August marked my transition to a new school. I had spent two previous years studying political science at a different university, but after realizing that just wasn't the life for me, I transferred in order to study a science that has interested me since the second grade - meteorology. Academically, I am much happier. But socially...
The first semester at my previous school was terrible. Before I went, I had this idea in my head that I wouldn't make the same anti-social mistakes in college as I had in high school. It would be easy to make friends and become involved in the campus community if I just acted like I was completely okay with my speech impediment. But it wasn't like that at all.
I didn't make friends with anyone until near the end of the first semester. I wasn't even friends with my roommate. I spent the majority of my time in my room watching movies on my laptop. I was reluctant to go out and do anything for fear of feeling even more lonely (eating by oneself can be quite depressing). I ended up becoming roommates with the girl I befriended toward the end of that semester, and as a result made a few more friends who lived on the floor I'd moved to.
The second year at that school was a little better. I lived with the girl who had lived across the hall from me the second semester, and we decided to share a room our sophomore year. It was a pretty good year for me socially - I was a member of numerous clubs, had people to hang out with, and didn't feel the loneliness I had previously.
Now I'm at a new school, and I'm going through all that again. I really honestly thought it wouldn't be that bad this time around. I'm only an hour away from my old school, and already knew people here. But I'm so incredibly lonely despite that.
It really saddens me to say that my speech impediment holds me back as much as it does. I'm 22 and have been dealing with it my whole life. I really want to have the courage to live as though I've come to terms with it. However, I'm starting to think that it's just not going to happen. Not being able to socialize with people the way I would like to makes me absolutely miserable. All I want is to be able to go up to a stranger and start a conversation without this disability playing such a defining role.
I'm worried that my entire life will end up like my college years. :(
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Life with a speech impediment
About This Blog
Living with a speech impediment can be excruciating at times. This blog is a journal of my daily ups and downs dealing with one. If anyone would like to share their own personal experiences, or offer advice or resources, let me know in the comments.
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I too have had a speech impediment my entire life. I went through speech therapy in the public schools as a child for year. It never helped at all. Elementary school was terrible, but as I got older people seemed to care less and less. Once I hit about 26 it was rarely an issue in social situations any more (for the people I was talking to any way, I still let it hold me back). Finally at the age of 32 I decided to try speech therapy again. I realized immediately that the reason therapy never worked for me as a child was because my therapist were terrible. They just didn't have the training to help. I strongly encourage you to find a good speech therapist. My speech is already 90% in just 2 months. However, if you don't do this do know that as you get older people will care less and less about your speech.
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Old post, and I doubt many people would read my comment but I know how you feel. I have had a speech impediment most of my life, while others have given me little grief about it throughout my life, most people ignore it completely only asking me to repeat myself occasionally. In contrast I have given myself a lot of grief over it, and have allowed it to hold me back on many occasions.
In all reality, my own low self esteem from my speech impediment is probably a bigger hurdle then being understood. Most people I talk with just assume I am from same foreign country.
I have always had a few close friends, although my self esteem issues have caused em to become isolated from them. My first year of University was difficult, I was friendly with many people in my halls of residence and still keep in contact with a few, my next year was probably quite a low point and I spent much of my time
chatting online in my room when not on campus. I was probably my most social ever in my final year, I created many friendships and got along with many people but I still struggled to accept myself.
It seems like there are millions of blogs on the Internet today and the more I read the more I want to comment on them.
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i know exactly how you feel. It seems like i should be able to get over it or used to it but its impossible. It would be AMAZING to be able to talk to everybody and be outgoing. I just want to be able to TALK. It will be ok. Stay strong and be confident <3
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I realize my comment to your post is dated, but I had to write.
As one who has suffered a rather severe speech impediment (unable to differentiate between soft 'c', 'ch', 's', 'sh'; some stuttering/stammering), I can relate to you. Through my parent's persistence and several(!) speech teachers, I have learned to talk correctly. Regarding your loneliness/worry, I have been there because of my speech impediment, but have learned how to overcome these things.
Today, I am a disability advocate and have been writing a blog at www.dismantlingdisabilities.com You can read more about me there.
I do hope that you are pursuing your dreams!
Blessings on your journey.
-Michael
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