One of the biggest education-related projects that I've ever had to deal with was class participation. A lot of the teachers I've had between high school and college count participation as a major portion of our grade. I remember not doing entire projects in high school because I was scared of having to present it to the class. Which consequentially led to my not doing well. It seems to have changed a little bit in college, although I still feel traces of it. For example, today in English, I didn't have a bit of problem talking about a short story I had read. However, in history, I felt as though I was reluctant to speak out in class. Like anything, I guess, it changes from situation to situation. Looking back, I sort of see a difference in that in English all eyes were on me. However, in history is was a call-out-the-answer sort of deal. It's funny; I thought it would be the opposite. Most of the time it's more difficult when everyone is staring at you, but I seem to do better that way.
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Hey, I just found that my speech problem had a name, rhotacism. And I'm trying to better accept and cope with it. I'm 17 btw. Although I've made huge progress in speech therapy, and I supposedly can produce the "perfect r" (I, like you, HATE listening to myself), people still misunderstand me, especially with names. Anyway, I didn't see what kind of speech you have, but I can really relate to your experiences. Last May I had to speak in front of my Chemistry class for 5 minutes straight, and I was so scared of what people would think of my Rs who didn't know (I had a habit of avoiding them with people I didn't know well). Anyway- here's my bit of positive thinking: think of it as your own special accent, and accents are sexy! No one else can judge you for the way you speak, and if you talk to our friends I'm sure they'll affirm that, and show you it's only negative if you make it that way. Hopefully we'll both soon be able to say what we what to who we. Good luck to you.
*what we want to who we want
I've just found out that I have Rhotacism too. I knew I had it, just not the name. Everyone thinks that I'm under ten if they haven't met me before (I'm 13!) and i would be able to sing...only no-one understands what I'm say/singing! I have resorted to sitting in my room practicing, and it has helped a little bit, but I am still totally un-confident (is that even a word?!). Coupled with the fact that I am vertically challenged and not exactly thin, this means that I have been bullied since I started school. Well, what do you expect? Hardly anyone understands anyway...
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